


You're My Hope

by pansypxrkinson



Series: Detroit Drabbles (alternatively; pansy fights david cage) [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Androids in love, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Character Study, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, david cage is a coward and simon should've been romanceable, pansy fights david cage, pondering love n all that good stuff, telepathic love confessions, this is my documented defiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-05-31 12:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15119768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pansypxrkinson/pseuds/pansypxrkinson
Summary: He'd burned the memory of it into Markus like a knife scratching into him, like it was a new piece of code. He was permanently marked by it. Forever changed, he felt Simon in every piano key he'd played since. In every note off key, every falter, his fingers slipped and that same feeling returned.For all he played confidence, he was so full of doubt, so hopeless.





	You're My Hope

When Simon gets shot it's because of him.  
  
His hands are shaking as they grab at his shoulder; clinging on to hope, fighting against the fear, because Markus has always been an optimist. He's always been hopeful.  
  
Simon's hand is clutching him back, and it's a comfort. His eyes are so bright, so full of dread, that he can barely look at him, and yet Markus can read strength in every line of his face. In it he sees the realisation that even now Simon's supporting him, looking out for him; when it should be the other way round. Simon's holding him tightly, lest he crumble and lose his nerve.  
  
Simon who never wanted any of this. Who just wanted to live, to survive; Simon who's bleeding in the corner now because Markus was too cowardly to pull out his gun.  
  
It hurts. It hurts precisely in the way that reminds him why they're doing this.  
  
Because he's _feeling_. Despite what they all believe.  
  
They must go on. He must go on.  
  
When Markus finally gains the courage to look up from where he's hunched over Simon, he catches him dead him in the eye.

Everything stops.  
  
It's impossible to look away.  
  
For the first time in his lifetime, Markus cannot process what he sees there. Can't even begin to process how he feels.

Simon grits out  
  
"I'm okay,"  
  
Even though he's not. They both know that.  
  
Markus is an optimist, and this is all he has.  
  
They must continue, and so they carry on. He breaks through the pain, and he carries Simon to the broadcast room.  
  
He gives his message.  
  
All the while Markus tries to figure out why his heart feels so heavy.  
  
His attempts come up empty.  
  
                                         

* * *

  
  
The first shock of violence that Markus ever feels comes as a surprise. It's visceral; it's a different kind of anger. Not frustration, not even an injustice, it's like a wave that rushes over him, all consuming, drowning, _disgust_.  
  
It doesn't come when he's making his speech, nor when he remembers the white noise drilling into him; the helplessness he'd felt in that junkyard, being disposable, trapped in horror.

Indeed it doesn't even come when the squat team shoot them down soon after he opens his mouth.  
  
That's fear. That's frustration, and the weight of a million injustices on his back, a weight no one should ever have to carry.  
  
But it's not spitting anger. Not yet. He's too hopeful, too determined for that, he doesn't feel that dissatisfaction yet.  
  
No, when the first pulse of anger awakens within him, it's directed at North.  
  
Just for a second. A split second of irrationality, he feels he could've lost control; shouted at her right there on the roof. That he hates that she's always so violent, so cutthroat, so.... right.  
  
Simon's bleeding on the floor and they can't leave him there. They can't allow themselves to be compromised in such a way. They've suffered, they've been through so much just to get here. To throw it away, after all they've done...  
  
One life versus their emancipation.  
  
Simon versus their emancipation.  
  
Simon.  
  
The fact that it's Simon changes things, even if it shouldn't.  
  
He won't shoot him. He can't do it.  
  
He won't kill one of their own.  
  
He won't kill someone he cares for... he can only describe it as that.  
  
Because there's something about Simon... he's not quite sure what it is.  
  
Simon understands him, even if he shouldn't.  
  
They have no history. No bond, no particular thread tying them together. Markus knows next to nothing about his past.

He's quiet where Markus is bold; humble, where Markus is proud, he's secretive where Markus presents himself for the whole world to see, and to judge.  
  
They're so different, and yet he knows... he can't do this without Simon.

For they're also so very alike. They resonate with each other.  He loves Simon's resilience, his hopefulness. Simon makes him feel strong, like a leader. He makes him feel like he can do this.  
  
And so he hands Simon the gun, with that same pain aching something fierce inside him.  
  
He memorises the exact hue of his eyes and the way Simon had looked at him. As if that were important; as if he needed it to carry on.  
  
He wants to reach out. To hold him again. Clutch at something real and revel in his light, the warmth that Simon had brought him, the warmth he'd brought them all, but there isn't time.  
  
The wind is blowing all around them and Josh is yelling that they need to leave now, and it's getting hard to process; to think clearly with all this noise.  
  
Time speeds up again, but it seems like it's going twice as fast.  
  
Markus jumps off the building with North and Josh, and he doesn't look back.  
  
He cannot bear to.

* * *

  
  
In the days that pass there's an emptiness inside Markus that he cannot place. His mind is otherwise occupied with plans to secure their freedom, but there is a small corner of it that keeps replaying the way Simon had stared at him as if nothing else mattered anymore. As he'd secured his grip around the gun with grim determination and quiet strength.

He'd burned the memory of it into Markus like a knife scratching into him, like it was a new piece of code. He was permanently marked by it. Forever changed, he felt Simon in every piano key he'd played since. In every note off key, every falter, his fingers slipped and that same feeling returned.

For all he played confidence, he was so full of doubt, so hopeless.  
  
Markus had never failed before. He wasn't designed to fail.  
Then again, he supposed he hadn't been designed to feel either...  
  
He couldn't do this. He couldn't do any of it. They were going to lose this fight. They were going to be forgotten. Destroyed. 

  
He missed Simon's hand on his shoulder, the reassurance he never noticed it had given him. He missed his eyes. He knows he'll never be the same, but he carries on, because he has no choice. They're in too deep.   
  
For a little while he balks at talking to his people again.  
  
He hates the fact that he sees Simon in every PL600 in the crowd.  
  
Regardless, it makes no difference.  
  
It's never truly him.  
  
                                        

* * *

  
  
When Simon returns they are alone together.  
  
Markus can't believe his eyes. It has to be too good to be true, doesn't it? Simon. _His_ Simon isn't coming back, he needs to accept that...

Oh how badly he wants to believe!  
  
His desperation, how sorely he misses him, the shock of it, like electric circuits frying, like he's shutting down, stuttering to the edge of something; it makes him pause for what feels like an enternity, even though he knows it was just a second.

Markus stops a few strides away, and focuses in on those same eyes that have haunted him for the past few weeks.  
  
It was his fault, it was his fault and nothing will ever feel the same again.  
  
But then Markus sees the quiet strength, the love that built him up, that made him believe he could do this, written all over his face, and he knows it's him. He knows Simon intuitively.  
  
He takes a tentative step, heavy with guilt, with shame, with incredulity, does he dare to...  
  
He _feels_ Simon's uncertainty; sees the slight incline of his head, and then, he folds him to his chest.  
  
It feels right. Like jigsaw pieces slotting together, like a song with all the right notes, and yet it's still so confusing. He still doesn't understand it.  
  
Simon isn't letting him go, he stays folded against him, like Markus was the only thing that kept him going, and he can't quite believe that, but that's what Simon's telling him now, even though, verbally, he hasn't said a word.  
  
When Markus' hand finds bare skin he hovers over it. Simon's hand is pressed right against his heart, and his hair is soft underneath Markus' chin. He lowers his hand atop Simon's slowly, cautiously.  
  
He feels... he's not sure what he feels, but it makes him fold Simon against him more tightly.  
  
He can feel the smooth, glassy material of Simon's bare hand against his own, with no synthetic skin to cover it. That's new. 

There's no facade. No false humanity.

He's not sure what's happening now, but it adds to the exposure, the vulnerability, and he lets it as they glow together.  
  
He swears he can feel warmth.  
  
He can feel Simon whisper as if it were coming from inside himself.  
  
"I... didn't want to die like that. Not without you,  I-"  
  
But the words hurt more. They add to the guilt, the pain. Markus is so confused, so lost as to why someone like Simon would admire him so, would... love him. Is that what he feels?

He almost feels unworthy, or fragile, rather.  
Maybe Simon feels just as inadequate. Maybe everyone does?  
  
Uncertainty; it's a feeling he's been running into a lot recently.  
  
The only thing he wants to do is... the only thing that can make it better is...  
  
His fingers pulse beneath Simon's chin as he pulls his lips to his.  
  
There's that uncertainty that clouds every motion, every movement; but it melts away as Simon's hands grasp his chin, like he's afraid Markus will disappear. Like none of this is happening at all.  
  
But it is.  
  
It's real. It's hopeful.  
  
He's always been an optimist, and maybe Simon's always been a dreamer.  
  
Now he doesn't feel so empty. Doesn't feel so lost.  
  
He tells Simon that he needs him. That he makes him feel worthwhile, like he can lead them all to victory, but once again, he never actually speaks a word aloud.  
  
Simon's arms, which tighten around him like he'll never let him go, show him he understands. They make him feel strong again.  
  
He doesn't know what's going to happen next, but regardless, he believes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all!!
> 
> First of all my apologies for being so absent recently. I'm afraid life decided to complicate all over again, despite my best efforts. 
> 
> I still love this account, and rest assured I'll continue to post to it, and reply to all of your wonderful comments, as often as I possibly can! <3
> 
> Here is a lil thing I've been working on; lo and behold another video game based character study (centred around detroit become human). i'll be posting another dbh character study v. soon also! (bet yall can guess who it is! i'm predictable like that).
> 
>  
> 
> anyway I hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> PP x


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